Quest for the Chocolate Caves
by Kurushimi Ikaze
Summary: Rating due to the fact that when I'm sugar high, I swear often. Ok, complete randomness, no plot that I can see. R&R.
1. Thoughts

Kurushimi: Ok! My first retarded random fic! I wrote this while incredibly hyped on sugar.

Hiei: You think?

Kurushimi: Nope, not at all. On to the disclaimer. I'll take the first part. To remove all annoyances, I do not believe in the Hiei/Kurama pairings, though I find them perfectly normal and fun to read, and maybe someday write. I'm not a homophobe or anything, I just don't support the paring myself. In this fic, I was just sugar high, hence Kurama's part. (You'll see) Now, for the rest of it, here's Damian, the Deranged Man with a Hockey Stick.

Damian: Right, we own nothing, 'cept my hockey stick. And maybe ourselves. Why aren't I in this? *twitch* I have a twitchy problem…. 

Kurushimi: Good Damian, here's your cookie, go get it…*throws cookie* Oh, and I'm Kaizen, identity crisis I suppose, and Kristina's my bud. We were both sugar high.

Hiei's Thoughts and the Magical Coke and Ice Cream

Hiei: *thoughts* Why does Yusuke get to be the front guy? This isn't fair, I bet it's cause I'm short… But wait, if I'm the shortest, shouldn't I be in front? Wait, they wouldn't put me up front, I would get attention, and people hate it when the short guy gets attention. This blows…

Hiei: *thoughts* Or maybe it's cause I'm so much hotter than them. If I was in front, they wouldn't be noticed. Or maybe it's cause I'm not a homosexual, so if I stay in the back, all of the female fans will be scared away before they can attack me, maybe this is a good thing…

  Hiei: Not to mention, if they put me in front, Kurama would just sit there and stare at my ass. What a flaming homo. Now that I think about it, my ass is getting kinda big, but that doesn't mean some homo has to stare at it. But still, I should get to the gym, I wonder if I'll have time on Thursday. I just hope Kurama doesn't see me there, I'd hate to have him watch me work out. Knowing him, he'd stare at more than my ass. I thought it was kind of weird when I saw him as I walked into the gym, but come to think of it, I never saw him after that…

Hiei: Man, he really needs a job besides this whole Spirit Detective gig. And a life now that I think about it. He's either on a mission, or looking for me. Yes, he needs a job and a life far away from me. I should try to get him a girlfriend or something. At least a temporary one, to give me time to run somewhere far, far away. Should be easy, all the human females at his school seem to like him. Oh crap, he doesn't like girls. Or maybe he just swings both ways. Why is my life so hard, and why am I talking to myself? WHOA!!!!!!! Who just touched my?! Kurama….

Hiei: That flaming idiot, I'm going to kill him someday. I told him, I don't swing that way. I must lag behind to ensure he does not touch my ass again. My rightful place is in the back, safe in the back.

Hiei : Oh crap, Kurama looked back at me, and he looked down, that is _not_ good. Yama save me, I have gone through much torture in my life, but nothing like Kurama. I think I'll walk backwards now. Oh crap, that will just give him a perfect view of my ass. But maybe they won't notice I'm gone, I'll just make a run for that tree over there. Oh damn it, Kurama is watching me again. I was wrong, Kurama would definitely notice I'm gone, he won't stop staring.

Kaizen: This is fun. Hiei's thoughts sure are fun to read. I should do this more often.

Kristina: I agree completely. This is the most fun I have had in a while now!

Kurama: Yes, I feel the same way.

Kaizen and Kristina: AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

Kaizen: Run! It's him, the flaming homo!!!!! *dashes away, zipping past Kristina*

Kristina: Don't worry, I'm running, I'm running! *runs and catches up with Kaizen*

Kaizen: We must save Hiei!!!!! He may be powerful, but Kurama's gay ways may corrupt our little fire demon!!!!!! *turns into Yoko form* DIE KURAMA!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kristina: *rushes toward Hiei and pushes him away from Kurama Matrix style*

Kaizen: *turns to Kurama* I WILL NOT ALLOW YOU TO TAKE MY HIEI AWAY FROM ME!!!!!!!!!!!

Kuwabara: What's going on behind us? It sounds kinda bad, maybe we should check.

Yusuke: Nah, just ignore it, Kuwabara, I'm sure it is nothing at all to worry about.

*While Kurama is distracted by Yusuke and Kuwabara's conversation, Kaizen and Kristina push Hiei up into a tree*

Kaizen: *comes out of tree to face Kurama* Your Yoko spirit has been corrupted by your gay human mind, it is a shame, Kurama. *shakes head* A shame indeed. *reverts to regular demon form* Using my Black Dragon, I will burn you to a crisp in the name of Hiei!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kuwabara: Yusuke, are you sure we shouldn't turn around? I think something's going on back there.

Yusuke: It's fine, Hiei's back there, and he'll kill anything that attacks him, we're fine.

Hiei: Yusuke's right! And Kurama attacked my wonderful ass!!!! Die Kurama!!!!!

Yusuke: And besides, turning around would just show the world how paranoid we are.

Kurama: If you want me to die Hiei, I will die for you! *waits for Hiei to attack him*

Hiei: (0_0) Uhhhh, what? I'm not doing you any favors, so kill yourself. Oh, and don't do anything "for me", you weird me out. *whispers* Run.

Kurama: What was that my love? What would you like to do for you now, Hiei?

Hiei: Uhh, run away? Yeah, that's it, I want you to run away, yeah that's what I was saying.

Kurama: *runs away from Hiei, Kaizen and Kristina* LIKE THIS HIEI?????!!!!!

Kristina: I think he's going to hit that tree. He isn't exactly watching where he's going…

Kaizen: Yeah, that will be funny. He's not watching where he is going cause he's too busy staring at…. *stares at Hiei blankly, slightly drooling* Sorry, what was I saying?

Kristina: Right…. Maybe Kurama just had one too many margaritas this morning.

Kaizen: Man, I can take booze and most other things easily, but for some reason, Coke makes me crazy. And it's only regular coke, Diet and Cherry Coke don't do it at all.

Hiei: That is odd. What about Vanilla Coke, what does that do to you when you drink it?

Kaizen: Nothing, well, it does make me barf, I hate that stuff. It tastes horrible.

Hiei: I see your point, who's idea was that anyway? That's just wrong, it's horrible at that.

Kristina: *hiccup* Me too *hiccup* This calls for a little of the BUBBLY!!!!!

Kaizen: That reminds me, Sparkling Cider does it too, that's weird, imitation wine crap does it, but not the real thing. *shrugs*

Kristina: For me it is Sprite. That is unfortunate, however, I love my Sprite. Oh look, Kurama hit a tree.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kurushimi: Ok then! That concludes the beginning of the insanity! What do you think?!

Hiei: I think you are a sad and deranged little girl.

Kurushimi: No, Damian's the only Deranged one around here….

Damian: Review, or I'll hunt you down! I have a hockey stick!


	2. Author Note

Kurushimi: Ok, just a quick author note, I do not think Kurama and Hiei are a couple, nor is Kurama gay (horrible slang). It just makes for good humor. Not to mention that part of the story was written by my friend.(Kristina is her name in the story). Right Hiei?

Hiei: Yup.

Kurama: Yup. We're buds, and I do not frighten the authoress, nor am I mocked by her. Woo Hoo! Chocolate!

Hiei: Ice cream is better.

Kurama: Chocolate Ice Cream.

Hiei: I'm in.

Damian: Peanut Gallery, signing off!

Kurushimi: If requested to do so, I will continue, and I apologize for those who don't like the whole Kurama thing, personally I don't either, but it's hilarious in this way….


	3. The Shiny Chess Man and the Quest

Kurushimi: It seems a lot of you people are as simple as I am, so, let the retardedness (not even a word) continue! Ok, Damian, take it away!

Damian: Take what away? You told me to STOP stealing.

Hiei: Moron. She means that she owns nothing.

Kurama: Yup, not much in her name. It's a shame…

Kurushimi: Wow, um, thank you, I guess….

Damian: SHIBBY!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter Two: The Shiny Chess Man and the Quest

Kristina: Oh look, Kurama hit a tree.

Kaizen: Is he ok? I hope he's ok, that would save a lot of therapy time and conversations with the authorities.

Hiei: *laughs hysterically* Sucker!!!!!! *laughs so hard that he falls down, but keeps laughing*

Kristina: I don't think he's dead, just knocked out. *looks at Hiei, who is still laughing*

Kaizen: Crap. If anyone asks, my name is Rusty Shackleford. (A/N: Thank you Dale Gribble. King of the Hill rules!)

Kristina: We'd better go get him then. After all, it is the right thing to do, isn't it? 

Kaizen: *stares at Kristina* What is your point? *blinks several times, waiting for an answer*

Kristina: I don't know, really. I was just thinking we could save him, and maybe he'd leave us alone.

Kaizen: Well, whatever. Come on Hiei, let's go. *picks Hiei up off the ground*

Hiei: *finally stops laughing at Kurama and shrugs* OK, why not? *follows Kaizen*

Kaizen: *grins* Hey Hiei, do you want some *pause* ICE CREAM????? *laughs to herself*

Hiei: *now rabid upon hearing the words Ice Cream* ICE CREAM? WHERE? *looks around rabidly*

Kristina: *perks up* ICE CREAM!?!? DID YOU SAY ICE CREAM!?!? *also looks around*

Hiei: *runs up to a mushroom* TELL ME WHERE THE ICE CREAM IS, NOW!!!!!!!

Kaizen: *now sugar high on Coke* WE MUST STEAL THE ICE CREAM AND KEEP IT FOR OURSELVES!!!!!!!!

Hiei and Kaizen: HAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!! DEATH TO FURBYS!!!!!! THE SHINY CHESS MAN WILL RULE OVER ALL!!!!!!!!!!

Kristina: *blank stare* Now we all know that checkers are much better than chess.

Kaizen: This is true my purple monkey friend, yet, the cottage cheese says the Chess Man is shinier, therefore must rule over all beings!!!!!!

Kristina: Well, the cheddar cheese says that the round black checkers long to be played with much more than the Shiny Chess Man!!!

Kaizen: Is that so? Well, to settle this, I must depart temporarily!!!! *runs off*

Kristina: Right!!!!!!!!! *waits for Kaizen to return and starts counting for no reason*

Kaizen: I HAVE RETURNED!!!!!!!!!!! The Great Yogurt has finalized the leadership of the Shiny Chess Man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hiei:*gasp* The Great Yogurt? We must obey, the Great Yogurt knows all, sees all!!!!!!!!

Kristina: All hail the Great Yogurt!!!!! You win!!!!!! The Great Yogurt's decision is final!!!!!!

Kaizen, Hiei, and Kristina: *bowing to large cup of yogurt* We are not worthy!!!!!!

Hiei: The Great and Powerful Yogurt has given his command, we must obey!!!!!!!!!

Kaizen: Yes!!!! You all know what to do!!!!!! *steps into a line with Hiei and Kristina*

Kaizen, Hiei, and Kristina: IT'S TIME TO GO TO THE YMCA!!!! *all three do the YMCA while singing*

Shiny Chess Man: Thou hath choseneth welleth. Duth anyone understandeth what I haveth just sayeth?

Kaizen, Hiei, Kristina: *blink*                        

Kaizen: You are so incredibly shiny!!!!!! *hugs Shiny Chess Man* How do you stay so shiny?

Shiny Chess Man: I duth not knoweth thee answer to thou's question! Methinks I must goeth and take over thine world. *leaves*

Kaizen: *watches Shiny Chess Man run away like a maniac and turns back to group* YOGURT FOLLOWERS, A PROBLEM HAS ARISEN!!!!!!

Hiei: *looks around viciously* Where!? I see nothing but the great light switches of tranquility!!!!

Kaizen: True this is Hiei, you cannot see this problem! We are out of Ice Cream, and my senses tell me that the Coke supply is going down!!!!!!!

Kristina: *screams* OH NO!!!!!!!!!! WHAT EVER SHALL WE DO!!!?????!!!!???

Kaizen: Only one thing can solve this horrible problem of Coke and Ice Cream shortage!!!!!!

Kristina: Correct!!!!! We must venture to the wonderful Caves of Chocolate, where rivers of Coke flow freely!!!

Hiei: Yes!!! There, we shall also find the answer to all of the world's problems, the Sacred Duct Tape!!!!!

Kaizen: There is no time to spare!!!!!! Quickly!!!!! To the Pickle Mobile!!!!!!!!!

Hiei: You mean it?! The Pickle Mobile!!!! Free Pickles for everyone!!!!!

Kristina: *shakes her head* No, that will not work, the Pickle Mobile goes too slow, we must drive my Top Speed Cheese Car!!!!!

Kaizen: You make a great point Kristina!!!!! Before we depart, we must replenish the supply of Gummi Worms!!!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kurushimi: You guys like?

Hiei: This is getting more amusing as it goes.

Kurama: I wasn't in it at all.

Damian: Join the club, I'm nothing but the Disclaimer dude….

Hiei: Anywho, review, we like that.


	4. The Plan and the Goat

Kurushimi: MORE PSYCHOTICNESS!!!!!!!  Woo Hoo! Thanks to a virtual Hershey's bar (You know who you are) I'm ready to go again! Time for more stupidity.

Hiei: We own nothing. Well, she doesn't.

Damian: Onward!!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Chapter Three: The Plan and the Goat

Kaizen: Before we depart, we must replenish our supply of Gummi Worms!!!!

Hiei: Power to the all mighty Sour Gummi Worms!!!!! *shoves a handful into his face*

Kurama: *struggling to get up from the spot where he collided with the tree* I'm still alive….

Kaizen: *looks over at Kurama and dashes over to him* Do you know where the Gummi Worms are?! *shakes Kurama violently*

Kurama: I… I …. *faints from head trauma caused by Kaizen's candy crazed abuse*

Kristina: He can provide us with no information! Let's kill him and eat him!!! He's made of sugar anyway…

Hiei: Then we can use his body and a flying machine!!!!!! What a great idea!!!!

Kaizen: Hiei! You are brilliant, Kurama's body will make an excellent parachute!!!!!

Kristina: I don't know about this… Will he be able to hold all three of us? After all, he's kinda scrawny….

Kaizen: *sugar high one more Coke* POINT TAKEN, WE MUST FIND MORE SUGAR PEOPLE, EAT THEM, AND FORM LARGE PARACHUTES THAT WE WILL USE TO REACH THE DEATH DEFYING HEIGHTS OF THE CHOCOLATE CAVES!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kristina: Yusuke and Kuwabara would work, one sugar person for each of us.

Hiei: *sugar high on Ice Cream that now covers most of his face, and some of his hair* I GET KUWABARA!!!!!! I WEIGH THE MOST, SO I NEED THE BIGGEST ONE!!!!!! *Hiei leaps at Kuwabara and begins to maul him, then eat him*

Kaizen: FINE!!!! I GET YUSUKE!!!!!!! HE LOOKS LIKE MY BROTHER, I WOULD NEVER FORGIVE YOU IF YOU ATE MY BROTHER!!!!!!! *cracks open another Coke, chugs it, and eats Yusuke*

Kristina: Oh yeah, that's just great!!!! I get the gay guy, thanks a lot, really!!! *rolls eyes*

Hiei: *running around in circles waving his shirt around in his hand* LONG LIVE THE MIGHTY PAPER CLIP GOD!!!!!!!!!!

Kaizen: *eats Kurama too and looks around* Coke!!!!!! I need Coke!!!!! Give me Coke!!!!!!

Kristina: *looks at the now half eaten Kurama* My sugar person, my food!! *begins to chew on a nearby tree* Mmm, tree bark.

Kaizen: Kristina!! You are a genius!!! We will make our flying machine out of trees and Sticky Notes!!!!!!!!

Hiei: *puts his shirt back on* The Mighty Goat will provide the needed Sticky Notes to aid us on our quest!!! *bows to large goat that appeared out of nowhere*

Kristina: Don't forget the Bubble Gum!!!! Bubble Gum works just as well as Sticky Notes!!!!!

Kaizen: WAY AHEAD OF YOU, KRISTINA!!!!!!!! *chewing ten packs of Dubble Bubble* SUGAR!!!!!! SUGAR!!!!!!!

Kristina: *stuffs gum that appeared out of nowhere in her mouth and blows 50 inch bubble*

Kaizen: *laughing like a  maniac and swallowing her gum wad* FLY AWAY!!!!!! HAHAHAHA!!!!!!

Kristina: *laughs, causing more air to go into the bubble, which causes the bubble to pop* Damn it!! *falls*

Hiei: NEVER FEAR!!!!!!!!! *shoves Ice Cream in his face* THE MIGHTY GOAT WILL SAVE YOU!!!!!!!!

Goat: Baaaaaah? *shakes head and looks around* Bah baaaaaahh bah bah!!!

Kaizen, Hiei, and Kristina: ??????? *blink blink* ??????????? *more confused silence*

Kaizen: Anyway!!!!!! Are the parachutes prepared??? We must be ready!!!!!!

Hiei: *eating Yusuke's left shoe* Yes, I was just getting one last snack before the Great Ice Cream Feast!!!!!!

Kaizen: I WANT KUWABARA'S TRENCHCOAT!!!!!! *stuffs jacket in her mouth* Mmmmm, fabricy!!

Kristina: You can have his underwear too, Kaizen! *holds up Kuwabara's boxer shorts*

Kaizen: *still chewing on Kuwabara's jacket* No thanks, just give em' to the goat. *points to the Mighty Goat*

Hiei: *snatches the boxers and runs over to the goat* OH GREAT GOAT!!!!! TAKE THIS HUMBLE OFFERING!!! *holds up boxers*

Goat: *looks at boxer shorts* What are you trying to do by feeding me those disgusting shorts? Poison me?

Kristina: *ignoring Goat and looking at the ground* Oh sick!! Kuwabara's naked now!!

Kaizen: *looks where Kristina's looking* I'm blind!!!!!!!! *throws Kurama's dead body over Kuwabara*

Kristina: *holding her eyes and screaming* Me too!!! Hiei, please, help us!!!!!!!!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kurushimi: Whatever shall the other me and Kristina do? Hiei better save us….

  
Hiei: Huh?

Kurushimi: Nevermind. Anywho, you know what to do. Hehe, that rhymed.

Damian: Review!!!!!


	5. Enter Sesshie and the Coke Bottle

Kurushimi: It appears many of you enjoy my psychotic rantings. Well in that case, let's get on with it! It's almost St. Patty's Day! "My ears are all springy and wigglin. Woo and wee and fun stuffs of sorts" as our buddy Jin would put it. 

Damian: We own nothing. But we do own the memories of every funny Jin/Hiei line! Go us!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter Four: Enter Sesshie and the Coke Bottle 

Kristina: *holding her eyes and screaming* We're blind!!!!! Hiei, please, help us!!!!!!!

Hiei: *blink* Oh, OK! *pulls out two bulbs of garlic and holds them above his head, one in each hand* The Garlic of Life will heal you all!!!!

Kristina: *snatches the garlic from Hiei and shoves it in her mouth* OH YEAH! BRING ON THE VAMPIRES!!!!!!!!!!

Hiei: No! That was a not a healing technique!!! *pulls out more garlic and smashed one bulb on each girls' head* HEAL!!!!

Kaizen: *opening eyes and blinking several times* I am saved!!! I see the light!!!!!

Kristina: *also opening her eyes and blinking several times* The light is blinding, but not as bad as Kuwabara!!!! Not to mention I'm guarded against vampires for the time being!!!! *runs in circles*

Kaizen: I HAVE SEEN THE GATES OF DEATH, AND THEY GREATLY RESEMBLE THE HOME OF MARTHA STEWART!!!!!!!!!!! I AM A CHANGED DEMON!!!!! I AM GOING LEGIT!!!!! *grabs a two liter of Coke and chugs it* THE GREAT DANCING ELEPHANT HAS GIVEN ME A GREAT MESSAGE!!!!!!!

Kristina: Oh no! Don't tell me… He told you…. The chipmunk has pneumonia????

Kaizen: *gasp* How did you know? This is indeed an unfortunate event, we will soon lose the chipmunk…. *bows head*

Hiei: *sugar high and singing to the tune of "I Believe In Miracles"* I'VE BEEN EATING MARIGOLDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *dances in circles singing moronically and surprisingly in perfect key*

Kristina: *singing* The chipmunk has pneumonia!!! The chipmunk has pneumonia!! *dances around as well* Join us Kaizen!!! *looks around* Kaizen?

Kaizen: *chugging Coke, holds up a hand as if to say "hold on"* *belches* Yes?? *belch* 

Kristina: That was a good one!!!!!!! *holds up a sign with a toothpick drawn on it and grins like an idiot*

Kaizen: *staggers over to Hiei. Sounding a bit loopy and staring at Hiei* Hey, you got a nice ass, hee hee *falls over, unconcious*

Hiei: *pokes Kaizen with a stick* Wow, this is a case us experts call Sugar overload.

Kristina: Not me. *shakes head* She's drunk. *pokes Kaizen with a stick for fun* Drunk off sugar.

*Sesshoumaru Enters*

Sesshoumaru: *looks around, looking very confused* Where the hell am I? *sees Hiei eating a tub of Ice Cream* Is that Ice Cream? *wide eyed*

Hiei: *turns to hide the Ice Cream behind his body* Mine *sticks his tongue out at Sesshoumaru*

Kaizen: *springs to life* I HEARD SESSHIE'S VOICE!!!!!!!!! *looks around like a crazed animal* 

Sesshoumaru: *looks at crazed Kaizen* Did you say Sesshie? You must be one of those fans… *backs away* 

Kaizen: *tackles Sesshoumaru* WANT SOME COKE?!?! *holds out a Coke bottle*

Kristina: *looking very confused by Sesshoumaru, who is currently being pinned to the ground by Kaizen* Uhh, who the hell are you? *points to Sesshoumaru*

Sesshoumaru: I am Lord Sesshoumaru!!! *grabs the glass Coke bottle from Kaizen and eats it, bottle and all* My fans call me Sesshie and sometimes Fluffy.

Kristina: Well, Fluffy. Are you aware that you have eaten the Coke Bottle of Darkness?

Sesshoumaru: *looks wide eyed at Kristina* What did you say about that Coke bottle?

Kristina: It was evil. There was a reason I didn't eat myself. You better start hackin' it up, cause if you don't, you will turn evil within the next two minutes.

Sesshoumaru: *looks relieved and shrugs* Well, if that's it, then no need to worry, I'm already evil, and proud of it.

Hiei: *grabs a bird from mid air and shoves it in his mouth, feathers flying everywhere* I second that motion.

Kristina: You're already evil? Uh oh, that's bad. If you are evil to start with, you will turn good.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kurushimi: *gasp* Well, kinda short, but I'm working on some other stuff. Another humor fic which should be up soon. Anywho, hope you liked it, we all must feel for poor Sesshie. 

Damian: Review! MUAHAHAHAHA!


	6. Hacked Up Valuables, Demon Rivalries, Po...

Kurushimi: Well, it appears we have some very immature reviewers in the world. So immature, in fact, they can't even share their names. I think it's pretty funny, actually. I mean, I accept flames, when they're useful. This was just a blind, and retarded retaliation for absolutely nothing. Actually, I would like to share the review with anyone who is actually reading this, and keeping their snide remarks to themselves:
    
    From: Kurama, Yusuke, Kuwabara, and other people who hate your guts
    
    WE FRIGGIN HATE YOU!
    
    Kurushimi: Real creative, huh? I think this person is compensating for something, but that's my opinion. Anyway, on with this story, I own nothing, 'cept the ideas in my sugar high brain. Happy St. Patty's day! (Thanks to all of you kind reviewers)
    
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hacked Up Valuables, Demon Rivalries, Politics, and More

Kristina: You're already evil? Uh oh, that's bad. If you are evil to start with, the Coke Bottle of Darkness will turn you good.

Kaizen: NO!!!!!!!!!! NOT YOU SESSHIE!!!!!!!! I WILL SAVE MY FLUFFY!!!!!!!! *pounds Sesshoumaru on the back*

Sesshoumaru: *hacks up pieces of glass* Thank you, Kaizen!!!!!!!! *hugs Kaizen*

Kristina: *examines the pieces of glass* These might be worth something… *shoves them into her pocket*

Kaizen: WELL OF COURSE THEYRE WORTH SOMETHING!!!!! THEY TOUCHED SESSHIE'S LIPS!!!!!!! *hugs Sesshoumaru* Gimme some. *turns to Kristina*

Kristina: *shakes her head and holds glass pieces away from Kaizen* Wait until he hacks up more.

Hiei: *twiddles thumbs* What happened to you being obsessed with me? *pouts at Kaizen*

Kristina: Well, your barf isn't worth anything, now is it? *looks at Hiei suspiciously* Maybe that's what happened.

Kaizen: Oh, I still love ya, my little fire demon!!! *hugs Hiei* Even if you don't barf up valuables. *hugs Hiei and Sesshoumaru*

Hiei: *laughs to himself quietly and sticks his tongue out as Sesshoumaru as he hugs Kaizen.*

Kristina: *turns to Sesshoumaru* Your regurgitated glass pieces aren't worth a single cent.

Sesshoumaru: *glares at Kristina* I do not care! *looks away and hugs Kaizen, stroking her hair*

Kaizen: *hugging Sesshoumaru back* Yup, that's 'cause he's worth the world to me!!!

Kristina: *blinks* Anyway, are you planning on barfing up any more glass, cause I wanna sell it all.

Hiei: *stares at Kaizen and Sesshoumaru hugging* Am I worth the world to you? *pouts*

Kaizen: Oh, Hiei. *grins and hugs Hiei too* I love you both!!!!!!! My favorite demons!!!!!!

Kristina: Anyway, Sesshoumaru… Hows about you puke some time soon, I need money.

Hiei and Sesshoumaru: *hugging Kaizen, each one glaring at one another, lowly growling*

Hiei: *smirks and kicks Sesshoumaru in the stomach and laughs hysterically at the dog demon*

Sesshoumaru: *barfs and falls on the floor* You hit more than my stomach, and you meant to. *glares*

Kristina: Yay!!!! *carefully stores the vomit in a glass jar* Nice work Sesshoumaru!! I mean Fluffy…

Kaizen: *chugs a keg of Coke and hugs Hiei and Sesshoumaru* I love you man *giggles*

Sesshoumaru: *looks around* More Coke *looks around frantically* More Coke NOW!!!

Kristina: *looking at a sugar high Kaizen with her arms draped over the two demons* Isn't that adorable… *sarcastically*

Hiei: *now sugar high after downing an entire tub of Ice Cream* I love you too, Kaizen. And you too, Seshmoraru… *hugs Kaizen and Sesshoumaru and giggles*

Sesshoumaru: You killed my name… *shrugs and chugs a gigantic Coke float* I love you guys…. *hugs Kaizen and Hiei, completing the chain of sugar high morons*

Kristina: OH MY GOD!!!! *points to the sky* I JUST SAW A FLYING BOX!!!!!

Sesshoumaru: Eddie? *looks around* Eddie, is that you? *looks up in the sky for the flying box*

Kristina: *shakes her head* I don't think it was Eddie, it looked more like Bill to me.

Hiei: *stares at the sky* Really? Wow, Bill and I, man, we go way back. Yup, way back…

Kristina: *still looking at the sky* Yeah, me too. Bill used to be my boyfriend… *stares at the sky some more*

Kaizen: *looks up at the group* WHAT IS THE HOKEY POKEY ALL ABOUT?!

Kristina: *looks at a very confused Kaizen* Oh, that's simple, that's how Bill got turned into a box.

Sesshoumaru: *counting on his fingers* Wow, I just realized, my name is 11 limestones long.

Hiei: Yeah, me too. Did you know that my name is four fuzzy ducks and one lampshade short? 

Kristina: *stares at the two demons as they ramble on* I am so very confused, confused indeed. *shakes head*

Kaizen: Oh yeah, you think you're so smart? My name is five eccentric bears, one floppy bean, and seven wheely doohickies vertical. *shoves Coke in Kristina's face* Drink and learn!

Hiei: Yes, upon drinking, you will learn the many secrets of the life of a slinky penguin.

Kristina: *chugs Coke* Ahhh, now, like I was saying *hiccup* The power of the cheese is only in recognition with the moon. *hiccup* and *hiccup* five dollars??!! *hiccup* oh man… *hiccup. faints* 

Sesshoumaru: Oh yeah? Well when the pickle electrifies the chicken, serious baby powder will fall from the ground and cure the chimpanzee of all mental ice cubes.

Hiei: *takes a drink from a Coke bottle* Hey, Seshmiraru, mind if I talk politics with you?

Sesshoumaru: *giggles* Why not? *giggles* Your hair is all pointy, like a fire. *giggles*

Hiei: Well, don't tell anyone, but last time I deposited my hat, the stork told me that I could multiply my monthly rice bowls by simply bowling a perfect game.

Kaizen: *wide eyed* Wow, that is some pretty impressive insider information. Tell me, who is your disk drive?

Sesshoumaru: Yes, I wish to feed my parrot green toilet paper so as to discover the swirly dinosaur football helmet.

Kristina: I'm awake! And on that note, the psychiatrist said that the chipmunks that have diseases are better at managing invisible money.

Sesshoumaru: *gasps* That is simply amazing!!!! Tell me who flies your kite!!!!!

Kristina: Yes, I agree completely with the flamboyant ceiling fans, it is indeed a major break through.

Kaizen: Well, my Golden Retriever said that the key to mastering the snowflake pez dispenser is to bite your elbow.

Hiei: *thinks for a moment* I see the blanket's point… *tries to bite elbow* I can't reach!!!

Sesshoumaru: There's an easy solution to that. *grins like a dufus* Just stand on a chair.

Kristina: *looks over at Kaizen* Well my Great Dane said just the opposite of your Golden Retriever.

Kaizen: *in Kristina's face* IS THAT SO???!!! HUH?!?! HUH?!?! IS THAT SO?!?!?!?!?

Kristina: Hahahahaha!!! Five Dollars!!! Five Dollars!!!! *waves around a leaf and dances in circles*

Sesshoumaru: My German Shepard informed me that when the beach towels point West, the great mob of Rabid Pencils will attack, so be ready.

Kristina: *digging through pockets* Damn it! I swore I had ten Gold Trinkets from the moon. Damn, they made great ink for Moon Cats…

Hiei: *still standing on a chair, trying to bite his elbow* Damn it all, I still can't reach!! Curse my lack of height!!!!

Kaizen: *perking up* I wish I had a tail!!!!! *accidentally goes into Yoko form and looks behind herself* AAAAHHH!!!!! I DO HAVE A TAIL!!!! *chases tail around in circles* 

Kristina: *watching Hiei try to bite his elbow, Kaizen chasing her tail, and Sesshoumaru talking to a grasshopper* I wish I had a margarita. *belch* and kneecaps…

Sesshoumaru: *to the grasshopper* Give me all of your shoes!!!!!!! *Leaves the grasshopper and grabs Kaizen's tail* YOU GOT A POOFY TAIL!!!!! *giggles*

Hiei: Hee hee, that's funny. *falls off of the chair* Ow. Oh man, now I have to start all over again…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kurushimi: That will wrap it up for this sugar high session. I hope to get some reviews that are slightly useful, not "You suck". If you say so, tell me why I suck, I'm curious actually. 


	7. Folklore The Quest Continues

Kurushimi: Hey Yo, people! I've been having a rough day, so, sugar high stories make me feel better. No more cruddy reviews, which helped, even though my e-mail was down almost all day. Well, this should be slightly funny, it was the first time for me… I don't own, so, yeah. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter Six: Folklore; the Quest continues

Kristina: I know!!!!!!!! Let's run in circles and chant poems from random Indian Folklore!!!! *runs in circles* My bologna has a first name! It's O-S-C-A-R!!!

Kaizen: *running in circles too* CHILI'S!!!!!!!!!! I WANT MY BABY BACK RIBS!!!!!

Kristina:*grabs a giant phone* 1-800 C-A-L-L-A-T-T, save a buck, or two, or three *rambles on*

Sesshoumaru: BACON AND BITS AND *stomp stomp* BEEFY BITS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hiei: Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow. I want chicken, I want liver. Moew Mix, Meow Mix please deliver!

Kristina: You are mistaken, Hiei. *points as if to challenge him* Puppy chow is the best!!!

Hiei and Sesshoumaru: BABY BOTTLE POP!!! BAAAAABY BOTTLE POP!!! JUST LICK THE POP, DIP IT, AND SHAKE IT!!!

Kaizen: *dancing like an idiot* AND LICK IT AGAIN!!! IT'S A BABY BOTTLE POP, BAAAAAAABY BOTTLE POP!!!

Kristina: *chewing on a baseball* Look into my nose!!!!!!! *laughs like a maniac*

Sesshoumaru: *perfectly in key and rhythm* I love my Metropolitan Mattress!!! Oooo, the things we share!! *jumps on a mysterious mattress*

Kaizen: *poking at mysterious mattress* Where did you get this? *jumps on mattress.*

Sesshoumaru: *shrugs* Dunno, Metropolitan Mattress, I guess. *continues to jump on the mattress*

Kristina: Making the World a better place!! Starts with one more smiling face!!! And Ronald's smile is just the thing!!! That makes everybody sing!!!!

Hiei: WHACK! CRACK!!!! I LOVE MY DIAMONDBACKS!!!! ZOOM! SMACK! I LOVE MY DIAMONDBACKS!!!! ON THREE, TV, THE PLACE WITH MORE STUFF!!!! *freezes*

Sesshoumaru: *thinks for a moment* I don't think I like Three TV much, I like Fox Sports Net….

Kristina: Mmmm, doughnuts…. *stuffs fist in her mouth* Mmmm, chocolate with sprinkles….

Kaizen: *shaking a frozen Hiei*  NO!!! HIEI!!!! WE MUST GET HIM MORE ICE CREAM!!!!!!!

Kristina: That's right!!! We're forgetting our mission!!! The Coke is almost all gone!!!

Sesshoumaru: *stands on a rock in a heroic pose* If that is the case, the great Fluffy Sesshie Lord Sesshoumaru is needed!!!!!!!!!

Kristina: *stands next to Sesshoumaru in a similar pose* My thoughts exactly, we need more Coke!!!!!!!!

Hiei: *shoots up and gets a crazed look in his eyes* I heard Ice Cream!!!!!! It is calling me!!!!!!!!

Kaizen: You can hear this?? *holding a gallon of Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Ice Cream* Wow, simply amazing… *eats some of the Ice Cream*

Hiei: *nods* Of course I can hear it, I thought everyone could, can't you? *looks at Kaizen all confused like*

Kaizen: *eating Ice Cream* Uhhhhh *blink* Well, yeah, of course *looks around* I was just testing you, that's right, everyone know Ice Cream is loud…

Kristina: Yes, or at least they should. *grins evilly* The Ice Cream, it speaks to me…

Sesshoumaru: *on the ground, his face right in front of a Poptart that is leaned up against a tree stump* You don't say? *gets off of the ground, holding Poptart and turns to the others*

Kristina: *contradicting everything Sesshoumaru says* Yes, yes it does Sesshoumaru.

Sesshoumaru: I now know how to get to the Chocolate Caves where Coke flows freely and the Sacred Duct Tape lies dormant!

Kristina: *not listening and obviously trying to annoy Sesshoumaru* The Poptart is saying something…

Sesshoumaru: *stuffs Poptart in his face* That takes care of that, STOP INTERRUPTING, HUMAN!!!!!!! *Poptart crumbs flying everywhere*

Kristina: *blocking her face* Whoa, settle Fluffy, heel!!! *giggles* The Ice Cream is telling me how to get there!!!!

Sesshoumaru: DO NOT INTERRUPT!!!!!!!!!! We must collect the Great Glue Bottles of the Square!!!!!!!

Kristina: *still being incredibly annoying* Yes! Exactly! Correct! Right! One hundred percent! *jumps up and down*

Hiei: If it means the Ice Cream and Coke will be returned, I WILL FIGHT FOR THESE GLUE BOTTLES!!!!!! *pulls out sword*

Kristina: *sweat drops and taps Hiei on the shoulder as he swings his sword madly at absolutely nothing* Uhh, they're right over there man, free for the taking.

Hiei: *looks to where Kristina pointed and sheaths his sword* Yes, I knew that… *pulls a branch off of a tree and eats it* Mmm, planty.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kurushimi: Kinda short, but I'm not in the best of moods. Sugar for all! Hopefully reviews for me!(hint)


	8. Cliff Jumping and the Chocolate Caves

Kuru: Wow, a bit long of a time it has been, hasn't it? That sounded like Yoda speak. I won't waste time on excuses, as this site is driving me nuts. ::glares at evil HTML screwy stuff:: Ag, well, here's the not so conclusive, maybe last chapter. ::needs inspiration:: I own nothing, just like before…

* * *

Cliff Jumping and the Chocolate Caves 

Kaizen: ::looking over to a cliff:: Do you think if I jumped off of that cliff, I could fly?! ::laughs like a psycho::

Kristina: ::chewing on a piece of paper:: Yes, yes I do!!!!! Go for it!! Follow your dreams!!!!!

Sesshoumaru: ::gets crazy look in eyes:: Oh! Oh! Me first! Me first!! ::jumps up and down raises hand::

Kristina: ::still dead set on arguing with Sesshoumaru:: NO!! Me first!! Me me me me me!!

Sesshoumaru: ::runs and jumps off the cliff:: Hahahahahaha!!!! Too late, I go first!!!!!

Kristina: ::jumps off cliff after Sesshoumaru:: WEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! I'M FLYING!!!!!!!!!

Sesshoumaru: Ooh, the ground wants to see me, it's running up to me pretty fast. Must be important. Here I come!!!!!!!! ::stops just before he hits the ground and shoots back to the top of the cliff:: Must have changed his mind…

Kristina: THIS WAY TO THE CHOCOLATE CAVES!!!!! ::points and runs away::

Hiei: ……. ::holds up his hand:: …… uhhhhh ……. ::looks around thoughtfully::

Kaizen: Yes, Hiei? ::looks at Hiei as he looks around:: Anything that you need to say?

Hiei: Uhhhhh, I forgot.

Sesshoumaru: Ah yes, thoughts, slippery little things, aren't they. ::starts grabbing at the air:: Hah! Caught one!

Kristina: I'm already at the Chocolate Caves you slow pokes!!!! ::Runs into a mysterious cave::

Sesshoumaru: ::clucks like a chicken:: I am the Master of the Chinese Table Cloths!!!! Hahahahaha!

Kristina: ::comes back:: Well, I filled two thirty four liter kegs full of Coke ::sets down kegs::

Kaizen: ::dashes over to Kristina:: Coke!!!!!!!! ::chugs both kegs of Coke within seconds of picking them up::

Sesshoumaru: (00) !!!!!!!!!!! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wanted some… ::twiddles thumbs::

Kristina: Well, I'm going to go live in the Chocolate Caves, there's a never-ending supply of stuff over there.

Hiei: ::looks at Kristina:: Tell me, is there ::pause:: Ice Cream? ::gets that desperate teary eyed look::

Kristina: ::pats Hiei on the back::Mountains of it, my friend. Hills upon trees upon oceans of Ice Cream ::walks away::

Hiei: ::teary eyed look fades into that of a crazed maniac:: HI HO DIGGITY!!!! ::charges off toward the Ice Cream::

Kristina: I call dibs on the Coke!!!!!!! ::runs after Hiei:: Coke! Coke! Coke!!!! Hahahah!

Sesshoumaru: I REQUIRE ICE CREAM INTAKE TO RULE OVER THE HOLE PUNCHERS!!!!!!!! ::changes into demonic dog form and chases after Kristina::

Kaizen: ::chasing after the others:: Coke good for Kaizen!!!!!

Kristina: Well I require the Coke to rule over all of the world's number two pencil sharpeners!!

Kaizen: ::holding an enormous keg of Coke:: I AM YOUR MASTER YOU TAPE RECORDERS!!!!!!!! BOW TO THE MIGHTY CHICKEN!!!!!!!

Kristina: Ahh, the power of Coke. ::dives in a river of Coke:: Yup, it's great. ::relaxes in the river::

Hiei: ::looks at Kristina as she swims around the river:: I wouldn't do that if I were you…

Sesshoumaru: ::looking a bit confused by Hiei's warning:: And why shouldn't she?

Hiei: ::calmly points to Kaizen::

Kaizen: ::looks at Kristina:: You covered in Coke, Coke good for me, I eat you!!!! ::grins like a maniac::

Hiei: That's why.

Sesshoumaru: (00) I'm afraid.

Kristina: ::swims in a series of complex circles:: WATER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hahaha!!!!!!!!

Hiei: ::swallows two gallons of Ice Cream:: Hand over all of your Vocabulary Books, or I will be forced to shove my foot in this gopher hole!!!!!

Kristina: Here!!!! ::holds up a stack of Vocab Books:: Take them, I hate em' anyway. ::hands Hiei the books::

Hiei: ::snatches books from Kristina and eats them::

Kristina: ::cheers:: Go Hiei! Go!! Bite it like a little monkey!!!! Die Vocab Books, you have enslaved me long enough!!!!!

Sesshoumaru: I am the Mighty Scanner of all of the Gerbils!!!! The Great Turtle of Zimbabwe will now destroy you all!!!! ::laughs like a maniac::

Kristina: Zimbabwe… that sounds like a song!!!! ::sings:: ZIMMMMMBAAAAABBBBBBWEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!

* * *

Kuru: Jeez, that wasn't long at all. I apologize for that ::tries to be all cool and bow, slams head on desk:: Note to self, DON'T do everything I type. Anywho, review, maybe I'll get some sorta inspiration to be stupid. 

Hiei: You don't need inspiration for that, idiot.

Kuru: SHUT UP! ::throws carrot:: I win! Like I said, review.


End file.
